In search of the enigmatic ‘Love’

You start wondering if it’s others or it’s just you. The inevitable you who is so stuck to its place of venom that the inside refuses to wander around in search of sanity. Clearly, there is hope. When, How, Where. That’s the question to ask.

If you stay in a place long enough to understand that you are replaceable, then you are on the right track. You don’t lie to yourself, that’s the thumb rule. There is no love here, it’s just plain, fucking business.

When you love someone, you also hate that person for not missing you. Not texting you. Not calling you. Not letting them see you. In person. Audio calls are so hypothetically designed, you don’t really know if it’s you they are talking to.

Love is not all mental and not all physical. (they co-exist). I am a 21st century alpha male, strongly believe in intimacy, proximity and foreplay. It’s not lust, it’s just love in display without fear. Not organic, but certainly real, original. All me.

Love has nothing to do with marriage, quite the opposite actually. Love might not always lead to Marriage and vice versa. But both do exist individually, and regain their own importance. There is no right time for love, to make love. Really.

Not digressing. But the real question is – will she ever say yes? Sorry, forgot to mention. Lots of love.

Miss you. Can I say that? Of course I can. Have not spoken to you properly for ages. Have not seen you for god knows how many hours now. Perhaps, few days, many hours, millions of micro mini seconds… wait.. what am I saying? This is not my love log-book.

Life is running on similar lines too. I am missing the keynotes in my life. Beautiful it is, thankful for all the glorious moments so far. Yet a lot to look forward to. Lot to come. Love always comes around.

Love notes. Closed. For Now.

The Wonders of North-East

Tucked away in a corner of the North East, Kaziranga National Park is a gem. The forest is massive in magnitude – spread across, sometimes dense and sometimes so open that for few seconds you feel like you are in the nowhere. A UNESCO World Heritage Site, it does at times awe you for its sheer size, not much in terms of the inhabitants (you could say we were a tad unlucky). But we were fortunate to witness the flagship animal of Kaziranga – the one horned Rhino. Majestically poised, it gave us the much needed views to bolster our confidence (we ended up doing 4 Jeep safaris in a span of 2 days). Some migratory birds, elephants and endangered deers (including the Barasingha) enthralled us with their presence but the Rhinos were just class apart. Yes, no Tigers. Despite being a Tiger Reserve, we were not fortunate enough to even sight one of them. There were rumours, and there was a buzz for a while but eventually faded away and I lost hope. But never mind, Corbett and Ranthambore in my agenda will follow suit. For now, I would allow myself some time to bask in the aura of Kaziranga.

One Horned Rhino @Kaziranga
The looks @Kaziranga
Relaxed @Kaziranga
Visual Epic @Kaziranga

Shillong lives up to its reputation of possessing its nickname – ‘Scotland of the East’. I can most certainly vouch for it since I have lived in Scotland for 2 years, so you now know it’s genuinely true. Beautiful landscapes, gorgeous waterfalls and cloud-laden mountains – as enchanting as it comes! A small town which also happens to be the capital of Meghalaya, is a testimony to the saying – small things are packaged well. Indeed, the hilly, cuddling town is very cozy and an ideal destination away from the hustle and bustle of the urban jungles we are bestowed with. Absolute saviour!

Elephant Falls @Shillong
Sweet Falls @Shillong
Museum @Shillong
The Clouds @Shillong
Shillong from View Point
Cathedral @Shillong

Kamakhya temple in Guwahati was divine and worth the wait though we were very disappointed with the way the administration was run, or rather the lack of it. Spectacularly mismanaged and ridiculously disorganised, it’s a shame that corruption and bureaucracy has creeped in our places of worship. On the contrary, the Brahmaputra river cruise was well arranged with luxury seating and cuisine on the background of the magnificent Brahmaputra river was a blessing to our sore eyes. It was a wee bit cloudy on that particular day but nevertheless the sunset was inevitably enjoyable and a peaceful sojourn.

Kamakhya Temple @Guwahati
Kamakhya Temple @Kaziranga
Sunset Cruise @Brahmaputra River, Guwahati
Port @Brahmaputra River
Brahmaputra River
Sunset @Brahmaputra River

Ah! Those Peaks!

Kyle
Skye

Yes, the visit to the Isle of Skye a couple of years was as enchanting as they come.

Those snow laden mountains, the never ending landscape that refuses to disappear and the collage of the magnificent towns that remain engulfed in the purity of Mother Nature!

What a lovely throwback! Thank you for the moments.

Waves of Life

Every time I look at them, the innocence and the arrogance culminating in the same frame stuns you. It comes, goes back, comes again with rejuvenated strength and then disappears before emerging again. Every time, it comes back – a bit more stronger, with more conviction but very fragile at the same time. Anything built around its confidence is destroyed, though can be reshaped again.

That leaves us with a strong predicament. We, as human beings are invincible and vulnerable in bubbles. One comes, stays. The other one might come with it or make a separate entrance. One might stay a bit longer, the other one might stay forever (depends on how you are made).

Do I wait for the bubble to explode or am I the ‘Bubble’ in itself that needs introspection?

Food for thought.

Animal – Vengeance Reloaded

I could derive a few meaningful lessons from Sandeep Reddy Vanga’s ‘Animal’. Yes, amidst all the criticism despite blockbuster Box Office numbers, I decided to watch the movie, exempt from certain prejudices and expectations.

First things first. ‘Animal’, ‘Kabir Singh’ and ‘Arjun Reddy’ are not the first films in Indian Cinema to depict and propel misogyny, male chauvinism and submissive women (though I don’t think women are shown as meek creatures in ‘Animal’, in fact quite the opposite but I will come back to that piece in a while). In the last 40-50 years, in both Indian and World Cinema, such characters have been depicted, celebrated and have attained a cult status over the years. So why all the fuss now? I think we as an audience and critic, have become closed and saturated, and very conveniently come out of it when it pleases us. Which is quite frankly and evidently, double standards and is not fair.

I have watched ‘Animal’ very closely – as a commercial audience and as a critic who has an inseparable connection with parallel cinema. ‘Animal’ is definitely not the best in it’s genre, in fact it is quite far from it. It has numerous flaws – excessive, unwanted violence and gore, the typical ‘you kill me- I kill you’ formula and the obsessively dangerous, vulnerable and ignited characters (including the protagonist) who only know to shed, chew and drink blood. But, I also see some sheen in the soul of those characters (does draw the similarity from ‘Kabir Singh’).

The strongest alibi of ‘Animal’ is the relationship between father and son. And it is also the weakest. Yet, I saw a very strong message from the director and that is where I believe my perspective stands out. The fragile and a combustible relationship is so ferociously depicted that it is almost perfect and then almost immediately imperfect. At times, you feel sorry for the son who pleads, begs and kills to earn his father’s unconditional love and trust. But for me, it does raise the most sensitive subject in an implicit and loud lanaguage – Poor Parenting. For me, that’s the greatest lesson from ‘Animal’. Outside, it is all painted in red and flashes the quintessential Bollywood masala film with ‘Guns and Gore’. But inside, I found little flavours of good cinema. Just a little bit.

‘Animal’ draws references from many classics (Indian and World Cinema), especially to showcase violence. Scarface, Reservoir Dogs, Oldboy, Kill Bill, Gangs of Wasseypur.. to name a few. But these films were ahead of their times in terms of treatment and the plot, and were more aesthetically shot with better scripts and screenplay that justified their run time. The problem with ‘Animal’ is that it’s violence (mostly, unwantedly explicit and confused) almost overshadows the brilliant and effortless performances of Ranbir Kapoor and Bobby Deol (perhaps the most dangerous cameo ever in recent past).

Now. touching upon the topic of Women integrity. I thought the women were very strongly built characters in ‘Animal’. Yes, they do look very weak in front of their monster husbands but only a woman of grit and strong character can manage to sleep in the same bed with such men. And the scene where the protagonist’s wife retaliates when her parents imply that she should leave him for good, leaves a lasting impression. That kind of defines how the women in ‘Animal’ are made of – despite the flaws in her man, she also acknowledges the fact that he was there for her when no one else was. A woman doesn’t need to adopt violence to show that she is strong and competent, she holds her own against the mighty men, flaunting integrity and self respect. I was surprised to see Twitter over flowing with emotions and hatred – I am sure we all have seen similar sequences in numerous classics over the years, so not sure what triggered the sudden outpouring for Women empowerment and the backlash the film received. Let me also remind all the critics and other film experts – though I strongly believe that Cinema is a powerful medium of art and propagation, it has always been a potboiler of exaggeration and over dramatism – this is so much applicable for commercial cinema. Just that some filmmakers are well nuanced and have a more subtle way of describing messages, some are not. But let’s not get overtly carried away with such swaying sentiments. If Cinema could change everything, we would be living in a much better place today. Cinema is an opinion, not a verdict delivered by law.

‘Animal’ is an entertaining film and let’s leave it there. It is not for everyone and it is not a special film either. But it is certainly watchable in parts for those soulful moments and a powerhouse called ‘Ranbir Kapoor’.

Welcome 2024 ~ Cheers to a year of hopes 🍺❤️🙏

2023 – I won’t mince words, it was a disappointing year for us. But as we close in, it all seems forgotten and worth it (arguably!).

But, valuable lessons learnt and I am back with the energy and enthusiasm that I am usually known for. I have learnt to manage my own expectations, underplay overwhelming ambitions and believe in God. Plans can and will fail, but its important to stay focussed and prepare well, prepare early. I am trying to learn and unlearn from the experiences that shook me in 2023, and the ones that made me stand tall despite downfalls and failures.

2023 was an eventful year, no doubt about it. But it was also drama unlimited, swaying emotions, plethora of disappointments laden with high octane hopes and witnessing those inimitable moments getting derailed by the twist of time. We learnt to remain grounded, patient and yet remain alive with our hopes and dreams.

I am a traveller and my family is my biggest strength – that has obviously surfaced as we kept up with our tradition to explore and keep ourselves rejuvenated.

I am not down, and am back with all the vigour that’s required to scale up and stay relevant.

My 2023 @MUBI

See the movies that have shaped my year.

https://mubi.com/en/retrospective/e987cea7b82fe2f06d8efa57de2dfa58

Cheers!

When Test Cricket stood tall.

The famous Aussie win in Edgbaston notwithstanding, the Ashes opener was also a defining statement for the detractors who strongly believe that Test cricket is on its way to a resounding decline. The first test in Birmingham was a great advertisement for Test cricket, and watching the top 2 test teams battling it out on the 22 yard strip was an absolute delight to watch.

But this also takes me to the more important questions and the contextual disasters around India’s failure in crucial test matches (home and abroad). If we are beating our chest for outplaying the Aussies last year on potential minefields in the Border – Gavaskar trophy, then I am sorry but we really need to look at the benchmarks we are setting for ourselves and more importantly how prepared we are for crucial test matches against the more dominant teams (England, Australia and South Africa).

That also leads us to a very significant question – how strategically does BCCI view our test commitments against the more lucrative IPL and T-20 agenda. I agree the money is nice for everyone but how does that benefit India when we are not capable of picking a quality side who can win important and elusive ICC events against the top teams? Where is the bench? It appears that our key players are now waiting for their swan-song to play out in a gorgeous send off while we aren’t very sure about who is going to lead us for the next 10 years. Moreover, do we have the vision to see how the Indian Cricket team pans out in the next decade or so beyond the cash cows like IPL and other T-20 assignments. Even ODIs these days has taken a backseat, which is obviously bad news for the 4-year World Cups which has been ICC/BCCI’s flagship event since the early 90s.

The WTC final defeat and the hapless manner in which we lost, not to mention the massive failure of our top batters was shameful and unacceptable. It also clearly sent the message that how unprepared we were for the tournament and the more attractive IPL was clearly everyone’s priority (this includes the board, the selectors and the players). It appears that country has indeed been relegated to secondary status while Franchise cricket, the T-20 mania and the subsequent money has become paramount. There really needs to be a balance between these formats if we really value performance at the top level.

I am not trying to demean the shorter format but by the looks of it, it is obviously affecting our core value system and it appears that is slowly taking the sheen away from the most valuable format in the history of the game.

A Sunday in Sand

Dunbar did have moments of glory – a quite coastal town that has shades of North Berwick (the similarities are evidently visible), a very silent, sleepy town with the only salient features being the exquisite sand, the glittering waters and the semblance of sunshine.

The Dunbar Harbour
Belhaven Bay –
A beautiful sight where the birds gang-ed up for a chit-chat
The ‘Rock’ in Waters – View of Dunbar Beach

Sky. Blue.

Amidst all the ruins, I still aspire to be me.

Looking above doesn’t make me feel small. Rather, the indomitable spirit of the aerial demons cajole and provoke to take that leap beyond limitations and apprehensions.

Honestly, the above kind of undermines my situation at the moment, supersedes the ‘hope’ element and completely washes it away. I think the current vibes underlines ambiguity and perhaps present a widely distorted view of the immediate future. Nevertheless, hanging around from the top makes it look like a survivor though inside, I feel a hinge of vulnerability.

Never mind. That’s me, sorry if this didn’t seem like an ideal ‘night out’ statement. Signing off, Ta.

God’s 50!

When I walked in to the Lords museum in 2014, this was the first thing I saw, and you couldn’t miss it. And, that was just so enough and fulfilling and by all means a definitive ‘goosebump’ moment for a quintessential fanboy.

In fact, it kind of sums it up so spectacularly. ‘God of Cricket’ in ‘Lords’ as he prepares to leave the dressing room for one last time. And that sight remains immortalised in our lives.

Can’t say more, need not say more.

Sachin, wish you a very happy birthday ❤️🎂🍺🙏